Tables Turn
by Aoife-hime
Summary: [Gen] Touya has only ever wanted some peace in his life, and with Nakuru present that doesn't seem possible. So what if Touya could find a way to get rid of said annoyance? one shot


Sooo... there was this wonderful blackmail challenge presented at Tsukimine Shrine and I just couldn't help but write something for it, and now I'm posting it because I'm a little bored (only one more day before the Gaelic Storm concert! w007!) Heehee... blackmail is so much fun to write! Plus, I got to write my very first Touya-centric fic, which was more fun than it should have been. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope. No matter how much I wish, I still don't own Cardcaptor Sakura (but I _do_ own my mangas and my plushie!)

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**Tables Turn**

"CONGRATULATIONS, TOUYA-KUN!" screamed the room full of friends and family. The object of their attention, however, merely grumbled a quick thanks and continued to glare at the two people who had done this to him. That infuriating, woman-impersonator Akizuki Nakuru, and his little sister were standing at the head of the crowd, congratulating each other on a job well done. _I always knew kaijuu kept too close of a tie with Eriol-san and his strange guardians_, he thought grouchily as another shower of confetti from those ever-annoying poppers tangled itself in his dark hair. _Someone is going to pay for all this…_

"Touya!" called a familiar voice from somewhere around the buffet table. From behind the chocolate fondue fountain (_Who ordered a chocolate fondue fountain!_ Touya thought. _What on earth could possess someone to order something so absolutely insane!_) popped his father.

"Otou-san. Glad you could make it," Touya said through gritted teeth. Someone had just set off another round of poppers. "I thought you were on a dig somewhere in Greece…"

"Oh, don't worry about the dig, Touya. I explained to the team and I have a couple weeks off to spend with my family. This is a momentous occasion after all. It's not every day that your oldest son graduates from college. Who knows what the future may hold for you? It's simply exhilarating to know that you have the whole world at your fingertips and yet you still have so much to learn -" Fujitaka was cut off by a strong embrace from his son.

"I really am glad you could make it. I've missed you and Sakura."

"We've missed you too. Oh, what do you think of the party? Sakura told me she lost a lot of sleep trying to get everything just right for you. It's lucky Nakuru-san was so willing to help."

"Yeah. Really lucky. I'm jumping for joy. Look at me jumping for joy," grumbled Touya sarcastically, his feet remaining firmly planted on the ground.

"Son, the least you can do is _pretend_ to enjoy yourself. I know parties aren't your thing, but your sister has missed you a lot and she really put her heart and soul into this party. So did Nakuru-san. I think she really misses you, especially being so far away and all. In my opinion, Eriol-san should seriously consider moving back to Japan."

_No, otou-san. England is just fine. In fact, I don't think it's far enough away for my comfort._

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Five hours later people were still partying hardy at the Kinomoto household. Yukito was still staked out by the constantly replenished buffet table, taking full advantage of the endless chocolate fondue. Tomoyo was wandering around at random, filming partygoers' antics for her future enjoyment (and possible profit in the case of a few of Touya's inebriated college friends). There was a lively game of pin the tail on the donkey going on, except someone had taken down the donkey poster and replaced it with a monstrous picture of the most hated professor Touya had ever had. Surprisingly, Sonomi was taking great pleasure in violently stabbing her donkey tail pin into the eyes… much more than she should have. Most of the other college students gave her an extremely wide berth afterwards.

Sakura had long since disappeared from the activities, opting to remain outside on the porch away from the all the noisy drunken college grads. She wasn't lonely, however, as Syaoran had been waiting for her since after dinner (Touya had strictly forbade him from setting foot in the house last time he'd been home). Fujitaka was talking about intellectual topics with Eriol and Kaho, and Touya, well, poor Touya was sitting in the kitchen nursing his annoyance with a bottle of sake. A thud next to him, however, only caused his annoyance to grow.

"Heeheeheeheeheehee _hick_" giggled Nakuru, her amber liquid slopping over the sides of the small glass and onto her hand. She was seated clumsily on the floor next to Touya, her long legs tangled with each other and her hair messier than when he'd seen her earlier. "How's it _hick_ going hick Toooouuuya-kuuuuuun? En-_hick_-joying your paaaartayyyy?" she drawled drunkenly.

"You are wasted. Get away from me before I get really angry," Touya said as normally as he could manage. The half bottle of sake was kicking in and he wasn't quite sure he remembered how to correctly say words.

"Yoooouuuu are such _hick_ a bore. I don't even think you are drunk!" she observed gaily, taking a swig a swig from her glass and finishing off its contents. She turned her head, looking for more drink.

"Am too," Touya slurred out, finally realizing he couldn't remember how to say most words in the Japanese language at the moment.

"Nuh-uh… If you were _hick_ drunk, you would see those pink _hick_ ele…elefff…eleffffnkkss…"

"Elephants?"

"Mmm-hmm. Just _hick_ like I said." Nakuru continued looking around for more drink, her eyes moving away from Touya's sake bottle after he glared long and hard at her. Then she spotted something of interest. Her eyes narrowed. "There they sit," she grumbled.

"Wha? Whossat?" Touya asked, looking around at the groups of people lounging and laughing around his house.

"Master Eriol and Kaaaaahoooo," Nakuru slurred. "They think they're soooo perfect _hick_. They act sooooooo _hick_ proper. Oh man, but you _hick_ should see _hick_ what they get up to _hick_ when they _hick_ think _hick_ that I'm _hick_ asleep!" Her drunken hiccups increased in number as she worked herself up into her normal hyper state once more. "I _hick_ have this piiiiiicture… _hick_ they thought I was _hick_ grocery shopping…"

"Can I see?" Nakuru looked up at Touya, the familiar mischievous glint shining in her eyes.

"Suuuuure," she drawled as she reached into the back pocket of her pants and pulled out a slightly crinkled and bent picture of Eriol and Kaho in a rather… intimate… situation. Touya grabbed it (he managed to get a hold of it on his second try) and studied it under the warm kitchen lights. First he wasn't sure what to feel… he had dated Kaho for a while after all, and there are simply some things that a guy never quite gets over… but then a warm feeling began to spread through his body. At first he thought that maybe it was the sake getting its second wind, but then he realized that it was glee. An idea started forming in his brain, invading his broken, drunken thoughts like one of those pink elephants Nakuru had mentioned just before. He could barely contain the smile that broke out on his face.

"For once, I don't think I will throw you out of my house," he said happily to Nakuru, who had gotten up and was pouring herself a mixed drink of very dubious nature.

"Wath out for _hick_ the pink eleffffffanths…" she slurred in response.

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The next day Touya awoke with a pounding headache and a roiling stomach. It wasn't until the middle of the day he finally managed to drag himself from his pleasantly dark bedroom and down the stairs. Bright afternoon sunlight pierced his senses like a hot knife, and to top it off his sister was shuffling around the kitchen, happily humming some song from the radio.

"Why are you so happy?" Touya groaned, plopping himself down at the table once again. The house was amazingly clean; he bet Sakura and their father had spent most of the morning cleaning it.

"I had a fun evening," she said quickly, avoiding her brother's gaze. She shifted uncomfortably before changing topics. "I was just making some treats for Suppi-chan. I was going to visit Eriol-kun and Kaho-sensei in a little bit. Want to come along?"

"Funny, I didn't see you most of the evening. What were you doing?"

"None of your business. Do you want to come or not, because if you do I'm leaving once I get my shoes on."

"You were with that gaki weren't you?" Sakura reluctantly nodded in the affirmative, trading her house slippers for shoes. "What were you doing?"

"Nothing illegal or inappropriate. You coming?" Sakura was out the door before Touya came racing after her.

"Yes I'm coming and wait right there kaijuu 'cause we're not through yet!" he yelled at her as she calmly walked down the sidewalk.

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"Hi Eriol-kun, Kaho-sensei! I'm so glad I got to see you one more time before you leave!" Sakura greeted jubilantly. Touya just stood by the door of the hotel, many troublesome thoughts drifting through his brain. Sakura and Li were worrisome enough, and now he had to deal with Eriol-san and his entourage of insane guardians. At least Nakuru seemed to be still sleeping off her drinks from last night. On top of all that he was still nursing a killer hangover.

"Come in, Touya-kun," greeted Kaho gently, as if she knew exactly how his head felt at the moment. Touya got the creepy feeling that she actually did. "Would you like some tea?"

"No, thank you," he replied politely, his hands stuffed in his pants pockets. His fingers found something in his right hand pocket, and with a jolt he realized it was the picture Nakuru had given him last night while she was drunk. His initial plan flooded back, suddenly becoming all the more appealing. "Eriol-san, may I talk with you in the hall?" he asked seemingly out of the blue. The young man who in all appearances looked to be Sakura's age glanced at him curiously, but nodded in silent agreement before ushering him out into the hallway and closing the door.

"Do you have something you wish to talk about with me, Touya-san?" he asked reasonably, his glasses glinting in the sunlight flooding in through the window at the end of the hall.

"I do, in fact. You see, all I really want is peace. Peace and maybe a little bit of quiet. I get no peace from the knowledge that my only little sister is seeing that Li brat and that, unfortunately, they'll probably end up married in less than five years. I also get no peace, and certainly no quiet, when you're in Tomoeda, because by you being here that means by default that stupid moon guardian of yours is here as well. I have a proposition for you." Touya was slowly but surely working himself into an angry frenzy, but Eriol's calm and enigmatic expression never changed.

"I'm listening," Eriol said reasonably.

"Last night while Nakuru-san was piss drunk, she shared with me a very embarrassing photograph that I currently have in my possession. Its subjects are you and Kaho… I don't think I need to elaborate."

"No, I don't think so either." Eriol's expression still hadn't changed, although his fingers were twitching.

"And if you try and get the picture back by magic, be warned I have made copies and they are currently magically guarded at my house," Touya lied though his teeth when he saw Eriol's fingers twitch. He had a superb poker face however, and after studying him for a moment Eriol caved.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to keep Nakuru-san at least a continent away from me at all times starting tomorrow. I'm sure you can manage it. You created her, after all. If you fail to comply, this picture will make its way to somewhere that many people will be able to see it. At the moment I'm in an extremely bad mood and I have a massive hangover, so you really don't want to cross me. All I'm asking is for a little peace. You understand, right?"

"Of course. So I take it you won't be staying for tea?"

"No, thanks though. I have to go find my aspirin. Remember: a continent."

"A continent. Got it. We were planning on leaving tomorrow anyway. I have business back in England."

"Safe travels. Maybe we'll see each other sometime… and my best wishes to you and Kaho. You really do make a nice couple."

Touya left the hotel then, feeling on top of the world despite the killer headache still pounding inside his skull. He had finally escaped. He would have clicked his heels with joy as he meandered down the sidewalk, but he didn't want to risk having to wretch in the gutter.

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"Aww… damn it all! How am I going to toy with him now!" cried Nakuru desolately when Eriol had told her the news.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," he replied impishly. Touya may have the picture, but it would take more than shiny colored paper to take down Eriol and his creations…

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Yup. Remember kids: don't get drunk and if you do, watch out for the pink elephants. Sometimes I think my imagination is kinda screwed up.


End file.
